Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
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all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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