tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My balls are so social today.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize