The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
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I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
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Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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