I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
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I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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