i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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