Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
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Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I believe in your delicious
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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