just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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