I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I FOUND THE LEGS
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize