They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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