Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize