dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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