this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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