Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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