Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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