We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize