So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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