You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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