I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize