I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize