Sry I called you an 8
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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