it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
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You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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