You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
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If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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