I am in a vortex of obligation.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
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ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
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The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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