I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize