My friends, they love my intelligence
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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