third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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