we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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