you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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