i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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