Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize