she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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