My sheets look like a crime scene.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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