Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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