Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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