have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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