I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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