So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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