when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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