i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
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I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
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Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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