Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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