Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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