We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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