The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
More tranny stories later!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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