Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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