I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
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I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
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There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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