we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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