she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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