There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
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So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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