i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
home. puking in laundry basket.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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