Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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